Monday, October 29, 2012

Testimony

I had to give (ahem, had the priviledge of giving) my testimony to our small group this week.  Thought I'd post the written copy here for fun.  Enjoy :)


Like everyone, I have a past filled with sin.  Before I became a Christian, I hit the bottle pretty heavily, I could frequently be found in the arms of another woman’s husband, and I was behind bars more times than I can count.  Then, when I was almost five, God saved me.  J  Truth be told, the bottle was filled with milk, the other woman’s husband was my dad, and the bars I was behind were on my crib. 
I was raised in a home where both of my parents were Christians, both sets of grandparents were Christians, and many of my aunts, uncles, and cousins were Christians.  Going to church was normal for me.  I attended AWANA and one Wednesday night, my mom was making dinner while helping me learn my verses for that week.  We had a breakfast bar area and I was up on a tall bar stool watching her work and reciting what I would need to be able to tell my leader later that evening.  The verse for that week was Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  My mom was pretty good about trying to explain the verses to help us understand what we were saying, not just repeating random words and phrases to earn patches and snacks.  She explained that EVERYBODY has done wrong things including me: whether it was not sharing my toys, not obeying mom and dad, or prying my little brother’s fingers off of the piano bench while he was learning to stand on his own.  J  She said that God is perfect and He can only be around perfect things.  Because of my sin, I couldn’t be with God if things were left alone.  I thought about that and started crying.  I told her I wanted to be with God.  She came around the counter and told me that God sent His Son, Jesus, to earth to live a perfect life, to die instead of me for the wrong things I’ve done, and to become alive again three days later.  If I believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, I would be saved.  I told her that I did believe and she prayed with me.   While I may have been too young to fully understand everything about the Gospel at that time, I truly believe I was saved that night. 
God continued growing me over the years as I went through private Christian school, and attended AWANA, Sunday school and church.  I was baptized by my dad in 5th grade.   I never really went through a rebellious stage, even in high school.  That lent itself quite nicely to the development of the “older brother” attitude that Craig Loftus spoke of last week.  I rarely showed it outwardly, but inside I was usually happy when my classmates got caught doing something wrong and were punished.  I was really good at following the rules, and thought they were getting what they deserved for straying outside the boundaries.  I was not gracious towards them, and God convicted me of that years later- enough that I emailed several classmates to apologize. 
More recently, God has been showing me some areas where my expectations of Him have been wrong.  He has shown me that I was viewing all of my rule-following as checkmarks to getting the blessings I thought I deserved for making the right choices.  It has been difficult to adjust my thinking to the fact that living life as the Bible commands does not automatically mean we will get everything we want.  I am learning that God’s plan is not always my own, but whatever He gives or doesn’t give, is for my good and His glory. 
            So to wrap up, I may not be able to look back at a sordid background and complete 180 degree turn that some people can see in their lives, but I am certain that I am a follower of Christ, and that God is working in my life to teach me how to live more like Jesus.

 

1 comments:

Mom said...

Amen! and Amen! I, too, am still learning to let go of MY will, and to trust in God's PERFECT will. I love you, Gillian, and I cannot tell you what a HUGE blessing it was to sit with you that night and be able to help you understand how much God loves you and what He did for you to show you His love. It brought tears to my eyes hearing the story from your heart and remembering the story from my heart, too! God bless you! Love, Mom